BREAKING: Pasadena Man's Brave Response To Waitress' Facebook Post Proves He Is 1000% Not Complicit In Rape Culture! And, 30 Photos of Real Avocado Toast You Will Never Not Believe Haven't Been Photoshopped (Must Be 21+ To View)
60" x 60"
acrylic and sand on canvas over panel
2017






Like, Yes, I Get It, And I'm Not Sympathizing With Him, But How Does He Deserve To Have The Entire Contents of His 20,000 Square Foot Key Chain Hand Sanitizer Museum Repossessed, Dumped Alongside The Freeway, And Potentially Crushed Under The Weight of 100 Buffalo Stampeding Towards The Last Remaining Chick-Fil-A? Just Seems Unfair, Like Where's The Line?
30"
acrylic and pumice gel on canvas
2017






Feminism as an Effective Tool in Buttressing The Patriarchy, Chapter One: How To Co-opt The Nuances of Any Women's Rights Movement To Enhance Your Personal Brand and Social Standing As a Progressive Colonial Man (PCM) In Contemporary Western Society
40"
acrylic and pumice gel on canvas
2017







Find Out Once And For All If You've Spent The Past 49 Years Seeking Moral Guidance From a White Male God With This New, 100% Legal Cheese Powder Technology The Food Derivatives Industry Is Raving About! (WARNING: Graphic Content) Also, Don't Sleep on These Newest Trends In Cauliflower-Based Mattresses!
60" x 60"
acrylic and sand on canvas over panel
2017






Hey Has Anyone Seen My VHS Copy of Weekend At Bernie Sanders'?
30"
acrylic and sand on canvas
2017







White People and Decorative Gourds: A Comprehensive Survey of a Rich Cultural Tradition That You Wouldn't Think Involves Genocide But Honestly Probably Does
48" x 48"
acrylic and sand on canvas over panel
2017






Tree Horse
40"
acrylic and sand on canvas
2017







LIFE HACK: Transform Your Complacent Racism Into The Cute Look For Fall You Never Knew You Needed With Just a Rubber Band, a Toilet Paper Tube, a Sensory Deprivation Chamber, And 4,500 Boxes of Frosted Flakes (For Building an Effective Physical Barrier Between You And Your Fears!)
72" x 84"
acrylic on canvas
2017







How Many Clicks Does It Take To Get To The Center of The Internet Where Peace And Love Reside? Find Out If You Know Yourself With This Quiz Designed To Analyze Your Click Style. Click Like Now For Instant Material Rewards.
72" x 84"
acrylic and sand on canvas
2017






Purchase 8 High Octane Gatorades From The Downtown Providence 7-Eleven Late Night Menu And Find Out Which Impossibly Adorable Dog Meme Corresponds With Your Deepest Existential Longing For Meaningful Human Connection! Sponsored By Pitbull
60"
acrylic and sand on canvas
2017







OMG! A Simple Cheeseburger Dosed With 4 Hours of 5 Hour Energy Sparked A Chain Of Events That Altered This Man's Latent Homophobia Forever. Then He Did The Unthinkable! Unrelated: 14 Affordable Ways To Vape The Patriarchy
72" x 96"
acrylic and pumice gel on canvas
2017






What You Might Be Doing Wrong With Your Face To The Detriment of Your Social Status, And How To Fix It With These 11 Chemical-Reconstitutors Found In Everyday Household Products! (Hint: Kraft Singles Make a Great Mask, And Yes, The Results Are Incredible!)
60"
acrylic and sand on canvas
2017







WOW! That Feeling When You Find Out a Clay Pig Is Actually a Living, Breathing Embodiment of The Top 10 MOST INSANE Grilled Cheeses of All Time! Subscribe And Like To Vote For President, Or Don't, Whatever
72" x 84"
acrylic and sand on canvas
2017






69 Artifacts That Prove This Haunted Fraternity Trafficked Pre-Fab Trauma Inside Bespoke Gatorade Bottles
40"
acrylic and sand on canvas
2017







19 Times Your Weed Dealer Predicted The Future And The 20 Obscure Conspiracy Theories That Have Come To Light As a Result And The Proof The Government Doesn't Want You To See! Watch Til The End For A Chance To Win Some Tangible Control of Your Existence
48" x 48"
acrylic and sand on canvas over panel
2017






People Are Losing Their Minds Over What This Seriously Breakthtaking Wolf Told His Tax Preparer After Taking An Online Quiz Asking Him To Identify The Click Value of 230 Epic Animals Fails! And: 49 Inactions That Can Discretely Enhance Your Privilege. Also: The Dark Truth About Waterslides
40"
acrylic and sand on canvas
2017






Just Two Honest Bros Doing Their Best To Make a Reservation at Guy Fieri's Restaurant While Simultaneously Ensuring The Rule of an Authoritarian State - Uh, I Mean, It's Cool, Everything Is Fine! Hey, Is That an Egg Salad Slider or Jeff Sessions? You Won't Believe What Happens Next!
60"
acrylic and sand on canvas
2017







What He Saw When He Looked Deep Into The Eyes of His Sheep Was Nothing Short of an Existential Apocalypse Mini-Docuseries Starring Sean Spicer as Kevin James, and The Cast of Chopped: Jersey Shore (Grad School Edition!) As Beams of Light, Out This Fall on The Disney Channel. Watch Til The End!
36" x 36"
acrylic and sand on canvas over panel
2017






It's Not You, It's My Lobster' and 120 Other Award-Winning Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Social Networking Strategy Chapter Books to Keep Them (And You!) Guessing Who You Really Are Inside Your Chrome Husk. Psychologists Agree, It's Not Advisable!
23"
acrylic and sand on canvas over panel
2017







When I Saw Gwen Stefani's Miniature White Chocolate Kitchen My Jaw Dropped, All My Hair and Teeth Fell Out, and I Impulsively Started My Own Web-Based Lifestyle Branding Pop-Up Fragrance Experience (Scientists Were Shocked!) Featuring 72 Must-Have Human Rights You Won't Believe Really Exist, But That Really Do Exist At The Bottom of Oreo Pence's Pool Full of Listerine, Watch Til The End!
48" x 48"
acrylic and sand on canvas over panel
2017







ExistentialRoundUp.Gov Top Weekly Clicks: What Type of Motocross-Themed French Onion Chili Cheese Log Do You Need In Your Life Just in Time for Soul Cavity Bleaching Week™? The Results Will Shock You! WATCH: Meaningful Video Appears To Show Fetus Pumping Gas From Within The Womb! And, 25 Life Hacks That Transform Ordinary Household Objects Into Cute Mason Jar Organizers For All Your Whiteness, Cheesecake Ideas! Click Like
60" x 60'
acrylic and sand on canvas over panel
2017







14 Real Life Billionaires You Won't Believe Really Exist and Decide the Fate of the Free World on Behalf of the Cast of 'The Real World: Middle Earth,' Including Fashion Santa, Big Pharma, Whoever Starred In 'Maniac Cop 3,' an Actual Ghoul, and a Cartoon Evangelical Kangaroo! Click Here and Comment AMEN to Live out the Rest of Your Life as a Golden Retriever!
60' x 60'
acrylic on canvas over panel
2017







30 Most Shockingly Gorgeous Stars Who Became Monsters After Learning This One Trick That Culd Change Everything About The Way You See This Video: Hot Wife Cooks What For Husband After Sees Him With These Top 30 Celebrity Tummy Tuck Nightmares, Your Jaw Will Drop!
54" x 54"
acrylic on linen
2016







If you stop reading this u will die my name is terra fidalgo if u don't post this on 20 more photos I will sleep with you 29 days later her mom dies search me up I'm real
24" x 30"
acrylic on canvas over panel
2016







Life Hack: You Won't Believe This 53 Million Dollar Home Made Only With Lays Mashed Potatoes! Also, What Your Fish Might Be Saying About You
12" x 12"
acrylic on canvas over panel
2016







Stuffed Cartoon Woodchuck at Church Yard Sale Sees The Future Through a Crack in The Patriarchy's Palm; What Happens Next Will Leave You Wondering How They Fit All That Cheese In There!
12" x 12"
acrylic on canvas over panel
2016







Your Holiday Twelve-Step Guide To Exploiting Weakness In Others For Personal Gain In General and Specifically For a Leg-Up On Opening Your Own Discount Atomic Wings Supercenter
12" x 12"
acrylic on canvas over panel
2016







39 Hottest Clues That Your Landlord's Van Might Be On Fire
24" x 24"
acrylic on canvas over panel
2016







Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool
24" x 30"
acrylic on linen over panel
2016







Nites of the Round Table Meet at Local Red Robin to Discuss Stock Market, BET Awards, Strawberry Flavored Milk, Some Other Stuff
23"
acrylic and pumice gel on canvas over panel
2016







Ted Cruz and Tom Cruise and Ted Bundy Take Poppers on Tropical Cruise Simulator at King of Prussia Mall (King of Prussia, PA), Dedicate Lives to Edible Arrangement Innovation Culture
23"
acrylic and sand on canvas over panel
2016







Post-Plastic Surgery Nuclear Meltdown Evening Ski Constitutional on Jupiter With Marshalls Applewhite, Halloween 2069
24" x 30"
acrylic on canvas over panel
2015







Gingerbread Woman 2016 Does What The Fuck She Pleases, Quaaludes On A Windy Day
24" x 30"
acrylic and sand on canvas over panel
2015







Four Wizards Marching
6" x 8"
acrylic on panel
2015







Free Stuff / Misc / Etc / Ghosts
20" x 24"
acrylic and pumice gel on panel
2015







YouTube Channels Features Nondescript Man Sculpting Foam Avatars For Every One of His Multiple Personalities, Raccoon Videos, One Suspenseful InDesign Tutorial
23"
acrylic and sand on panel
2015







Hells Angels Break Into Stop'N'Shop In Hudson, MA, Reenact Scene From 'Son In Law' In Which Pauly Shore Wears The Fruit Hat
30" x 40"
acrylic and sand on panel
2015







38 Slushy Recipes That Will Make You Reconsider Everything You Thought You Knew About Your Husk of a Soul
14" x 18"
acrylic on panel
2015







Redux
11" x 14"
acrylic on panel
2015







K.A.L.E. Rules Everything Around Me
16" x 20"
acrylic and sand on panel
2015







Woman From Subway and Costanza Mid-Robbery
20" x 24"
acrylic and sand on panel
2015







George And Jerry Meet With NBC Executives Forever
30" x 30"
acrylic on panel
2015







You Won't Believe Your Eyes When You See This Exciting New Prototype For Froot Loops Concept Media LLC 4.0
16"
acrylic on panel
2014







Season 6, Episode 9: 'The Jimmy' - Variations Of
24" x 30"
acrylic on panel
2014







Nephew Interrupts Thanksgiving Dinner To Announce Plans To Open Head Shop For Dogs Called 'Air Bud,' Is Looking For Investors
20" x 24"
acrylic and sand on panel
2014







Quack Is Wack
11" x 14"
acrylic and sand on panel
2014







You Could Win Up To $200,000 Cold Hard Cash Towards Your Next Set of Meditations on Captain Ron! Click Here To Apply Now
24" x 30"
acrylic and sand on panel
2014







Helen Hunt's 1968 Snow Globe Containing Vision of Future 1994 Grocery List, Mariah Carey CD
16"
acrylic and sand on panel
2014